He had contacted me several times, always respectful and patient. I eventually caved. I had been feeling guilty for canceling the previous date and figured that I was in for a spanking if our acquaintance advanced. We met for lunch; a simple, quick lunch at a low end family restaurant, nothing pretentious or demanding. There was nice banter and some interesting conversation. It through me off when, out of the blue, he asked me if I had issues with him penetrating me or cumming inside me. The warning lights started going off, but I pushed them down and ignored them. After all we were just having lunch or so I thought. I was willing to give him a chance. He talked me into coming to his hotel room because I had earned a spanking for my "lack of communication." Again major alarms and flashing lights. I went anyway. We went to a hotel, blue collar, clean, or at least visually clean , and immediately he had me lay down over his lap for that spanking. No alarms or flashing lights with this, in fact I could have taken a lot more than he dished out, but that is not the point of this story. After that, there was a little groping and some talking, then he took me to my car and I went to the office. Later that evening, he contacted me and proceeded to text back and forth a little. This is where the small alarms became a large screeching siren.
Lets back up just a little. He made several mistakes that I could have overlooked:
1) he tried to have a casual scene with out establishing perimeters. I let this one go, because he stopped when I said "please stop"
2) he never asked me for a safe word. In fact he said that I didn't need one with him and that it would help establish trust. WTF, that is how you establish trust, allowing a safe word. Again, I waited it out, and let that one slide.
3) he asked me if I was okay with having sex with him....%^&*$#! Really, I don't know you! Why the hell would I have sex with you? I am not a slut and I though I had made myself perfectly clear on that point.
4) I told him honestly, that if he pushed my boundaries, I would not stay in contact. Yet he attempted to push boundaries that I would only permit from a Dom that owned me or one that had established a comfortable and committed relationship with me. Again I waited it out and began making a mental list of the mistakes he was racking up.
5) I was told that I would have to lie to my parents and come spend the weekend with him. He suggested that I tell them that I was going to Houston for the weekend. WTF...I am not collared by you, you do not ask someone that you have been on 2 (and not really 2) dates with to lie to their family. Big loud alarms were going off at this point. Now I am just saying what he wants to hear along with a lot of "okay"s.
6,7,8,9,10.....There were several more transgressions, but I think you get the point.
The final action that brought an end to our communication accrued later that night when he sent me a text saying that he wanted to see me before he left town. That I needed to find time to have dinner with him, and it was not stated as a request. He implied that I needed to manage to find the time, even after I told him that I was burred in paperwork and would be working late every night. I am sorry, but you do not own me, we have seen each other face to face an average of 5.5 hours. Where do you get off demanding that I jeopardize my career and neglect my responsibility to my job so that you can, a near stranger, have dinner with me. I am submissive, but I am also an independent woman that is proud of the struggle and hardships I went through to make my dreams come true. Why would a so-called-Dom want me to neglect my career? I would never ask anyone to jeopardize their livelihood for me, especially someone that I had only know a few hours. That was the straw that broke the sub's back. I did not respond to his last text. I put my phone aside and in the morning, I deleted all his texts.
I regretted my actions when I canceled our first date, but the realty is that I should have listened to my gut instincts in the first place. I should have listened to the fist onset of alarms, bells, and whistles...... What did I learn out of this, gut instincts only come in handy if you are willing to listen to them.
