7/22/13

Being Me

I have not been on line for a few days.  I have stayed away from the computer completely.  I have been busy doing other things that I love.  Things that I had forgotten I loved.  Things that I quit doing because hollow didn't do them and I felt guilty doing with out him.

About 15 of us went on a road trip Saturday to go try a different dance floor.  We had a blast.  I danced for over 2 hrs strait.  I am feeling the pain today, but it was worth it!  I have few passions in life.  One is dancing.  I put my favorite past times away, like broken toys.  I forgot how much they meant to me.

I am still beating myself up for what I allowed to become of me. For allowing the person I was to disappear into the shadows in order to make him happy.  So,  I have to decided to fix the parts of me that I allowed to be broken and forgotten.   I will be going dancing at least 3 times a month.  I will be taking dance/exercise classes as soon as I can find something.  I used to go dancing 3 to 5 nights a week.  Not to drink or hook up.  I went to dance.  Grab a partner and do some East Coast or West Coast Swing , Polka, Waltz, Cha Cha, Night-Club, Two Step, Double Two Step....

I am also waiting for the community pottery class to start back up.  I need to start doing my art again.  I lost track of my hopes and dreams of one day having my own instillation.  I will be saving up some money and putting together a portfolio that I can use to apply to galleries.  I have not done a serious piece of art in over 3 yrs.  All of my supplies have gone to rot.  I let it all corrode. 

I will be going on a diet.  I need to lose some weight to get healthy, and to feel good about myself again.  My  BFF has already started and has lost 12 lbs.  The challenge is on. 

It is time I seriously returned to being me, and not the shell and shadow I became for him.

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