7/23/13

What is in a Name

About 2 hours after the other one left, he decided that he didn't want to hear her name any longer.  Some where along the way, I began calling her "the other one."  Occasionally, she would come up in conversation and he knew who "the other one" was.  So it stuck.  To me it was a recognition that she had once been an important part of our relationship.  To him, it was avoidance of her name.

I have been reflecting on how I feel, or rather don't fell about my X-fiance.  I am indifferent.  I don't waste any tears, anger, frustration, heartache on him.    However, I think he was done with me long before I was ever indifferent.  He said things and did hurtful things that destroyed part of what made me lovable and love him.  In my mind and heart there is an empty space where once echoed beautiful memories of him and love.  Now that space is a void.   To me he is an emotionless unfilled space or cavity, a dream lacking in real value, sincerity, and substance.  In my mind he is hollow.  

I believe that she will always be the other one.  I will always miss her laughter, and wish her the best.   I can only hope that one day,  I can look back on him and not be hollow.  Remember more of the good and less of the horrible.

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