The Other Woman

I want to be angry,  I do.  I want to be upset, I really do.  At least that would mean that in some way I care about hollow and what he is doing.  But I just can not get there.  I am irritated at my ignorance and trust.  I am mortified that I allowed myself  to be treated the way I was, and wasn't.  However, all my negative emotions are aimed at me.  I am beating myself up for being a follower, a patsy, a tool.  Looking on the bright side, it was a lesson learned, and like most good lessons, it was learned the hard way.

I got an email from an ex- coworker today,  she said that "guy" had posted a picture of another woman already on his page.  She was angry at him.  She is very protective of me.   It took me a bit to really convince her that I didn't care.  Took her even longer to come down from her tizzie. 

All that picture proves is that he used me and more proof that there was no love reciprocated.  He has moved on and is already playing with other people, that is how little I meant to him.  That's cool. Somewhere out there is the right woman for him, and if she turns out to be it,  than I am happy for her.  

I find myself on occasion fretting that I am now emotionally scared for life and that this indifference will effect my next relationship.  Then turn around and berate myself for being silly.  The only thing I did wrong was trust and try.  I didn't sleep around, go to meetings behind his back, search for more than "friends" on line......  I was the best I could be with what I had to work with.  I will be fine.   I am happy, content and focused, although a little restless and wanting to play very badly.   That will come in time.