Social at Heart

There once was a time that I wrote on my blog almost daily.   I was happy then.  I had big things to boast about.  Wonderful news and for the most part happy thoughts.  The posts became less frequent and then almost never.  Then I quit writing.  The happier I was, the more I wrote; the less content, the less I wrote.

Once upon a time I was a social butterfly.   I had plans almost every day that evolved being around people.   That changed over 2yrs ago.   I found myself flipping back and forth between 3 web sights all evening.  Pinterest, FL, FaceBook, Pinterest, FL, FaceBook....over and over.  Slowly going crazy.    I died a little ever day, slowly smothered with boredom.   Cabin fever became my constant companion.    I sat alone in the living room with my cats in a silent house.  Always hoping hollow would walk through and ask if I wanted to go to a play party or a meeting,  he never did.   I think in 2 years we went to 2 meetings,  and never stayed for the play party after. 

Why did I stay so long?  I ask myself the "Why did I's" almost every day.    I always come back to the same answer.  Fear.  Fear of not having the savings to go.  Fear of what would come of me.  Fear of being able to survive with out him.  Fear that was unwarranted.   I have family,  I have friends, and I have inner strength and a determination to survive.  I stayed far too long,   I tried far too long,  I hoped far too long,  I dreamed far too long,  I held on far too long and  I stopped living far too long.  Well,  I am living now.